Things that are starving in my house...

I have a tendency to not be very well organized... I suppose its a little more than a tendency its just plain and simple a part of who I am. So do I say well thats who I am you should live with it? Or do I try and change it?
I wish that the first part was the answer, I wish I was one of those people who could just say, "this is me get used to it!" However I know the truth of that, I want to be a better person in fact I love organization I just don't know how to keep it going. I could ask my Mum to help me, but that would be setting myself up for endless moments of nagging and thus causing CJ to poke his eye out or start drinking.... 

 Now with all of this it leads me to my title ' Things that are starving in my house'. In no particular order I will list the things in our house that have been starving for quite sometime... I will probably be attacked by some animal rights groups but seriously I know its a problem and I am willing to change.
1. Fluffy- Fluffy is our pet fish he/she is a beta fish and because our last Beta died from eating too much I tend to not feed Fluffy all that much. Usually the response we get from people is "Um I think your fish is dead?!". Which then I respond by swishing the water back and forth waiting for movement, and then feed it.
I have decided to change this by feeding Fluffy on trash days. This will be good Fluffy will get fed on a regular basis unless however I forget to take the trash down to the street. Then well pretty much Fluffy is in trouble.

2. Plants- I have 3 plants. 1 of which my Mother gave me along with a small pitcher with instructions on how to water said plant. Somehow I still find ways to forget to water the plant every Monday as instructed. Is it because I feel its just one more way my mother has found to nag me but by not nagging me? I don't know. The other 2 plants are these weird Chia pet like snow men that grow grass out of their heads... I really don't think its physically possible to kill these plants. In fact after the holidays I am afraid I will throw them away only to wake up the next day to find them sitting on our front door step like some weird Chia Ouija plant.

3. My Spirit- I realize that some people may be shocked by this and some may not, and it may be completely obvious to some. I don't feed or water my spirit on a regular basis. I don't know why because I am very aware of the battle my flesh and spirit do every day and somehow I still tend to go on crazy crash diets.
So I start to wonder why? is it my lack of organization? But then how organized to you have to be to just wake up a little bit early every morning to read the actual WORDS OF GOD!
On the days I don't do my devos the person who suffers the most is me! Well maybe CJ too because I am a little bit crankier, well ok and the boys because I don't have the patience I need to deal with them.
So how do I rectify this situation? I could call my Mum and ask her to nag me, I could write it on a calendar, or I could just plain do it.
I recently started reading 'The Privilege' by Kay Smith and the first chapter is titled ' a Right relationship'. How can I think I have a right relationship with my Heavenly Father if I don't read His word? If I am not filling my heart with the instructions He has given me how can I expect Him to do great things in and through me?
So therefore I have purposed in my heart to read the word everyday even on days I've been to church.
Job 23:12 says " I have treasured the words of HIS mouth more than my necessary food".
Well then people, how often when you are eating breakfast are you discussing what you are goingto be eating for lunch or dinner? Reading the word of God should be like this. We should be excited about the next time we get to read. It shouldn't be well I'm a good christian so I have to read my devos every day its a GET TO.
You know how people go on those crazy diets where they only eat white things or they just eat special diet cookies. Sometimes for me reading the word of God is like this... I get all psyched up and read an amazing book or some really cool part of scripture but I still end up fizzling out. I end up feeling all down and gloomy because I gave up. Well I say if your like me we need like a Jenny Craig or Nutri System spiritual diet.
Like the ones where you ' Eat amazing food and pounds just fall off'. Lets just dig into our bibles everyday 2 times a day if we want and watch all that nasty fruit of the flesh fall away.
I am in, and I hope you are too. People find someone to keep you accountable or just realize reading God's Word is not a chore its a wonderful vacation with your Lord and SAVIOUR.

Mustard seed faith or Munchausen by proxy

Yesterday we took Phinny for his check up and ultrasound with the urologist/kidney doctor. The doctor came in and said that his good kidney was doing great in fact the best he had seen it since he was born... I was happy to hear the good news since it was my birthday & that was one of my wishes. Yet after a few minutes of that sinking in I started to cry... I had done this before when the doctor told us good news about his kidney. so why then would I cry when I heard the good news but in the times I had heard the bad news I was just still, no tears?
So then it got me thinking and wondering if I had Munchausen by proxy a disease where mothers make there children sick so they can hear what strong, courageous mothers they are and people feel sorry for them.
Was this me was I upset because my child wasn't sick or in need of some kind of surgery? Please excuse the drama of this but it truly danced around in my head... last week when Pierce had MRSA when his hand got better I didn't feel as if I was relieved or praising God...
This got me thinking and assessing why I would feel this way and I came to realization that all along people have been saying what great faith I had but really my faith wasn't that great. In fact I don't even know if it was the size of a mustard seed. What I had found out about myself was that I have been setting myself up for these appointments with the boys to hear the worse news... If my heart was prepared to hear the worse then when I heard it I wouldn't be shocked, and thus be able to continue on saying how faithful God was. God is faithful.  He has held me up through all that we have gone through but where I started to lack faith was I stopped believing God had the power to heal them and make everything better. I started believing that God just didn't want that for our boys... I didn't realize that until yesterday.
So after looking up Munchausen by proxy and seeing whether or not I needed to start seeing a Psycholgist I realized what I really needed was to repent and ask God to forgive me and to help me in my unbelief.
In Mark 9:14-29 there is a father who has a son who is sick...
Basically Jesus walks up sees a bunch of guys arguing over this kid and what to do. They bring the boy to Jesus and  Jesus says " If you can believe all things are possible to him who believes" The father replies with " I believe but help me in my unbelief". And Jesus heals the boy.

The best part of this is when the father says I believe but help me in my unbelief.  This father had the faith to know Jesus could heal his son but he also knew his own heart, knowing it all sounded too good to be true...
How many doctors or other priests and such had this man taken his son to? How many of them either promised him his son would get better or looked at him as if he was being punished for his sins?
In the Strong's concordance talking of this passage it says " it expresses the dilemma that even those who believe can be nagged by doubt and hopelessness."  This is where I had found myself allowing the enemy to get into my head and cause me to ever so slightly start to doubt the goodness of God.
Thankfully I will not be shaving the dog today and/or going on a bunch of crazy meds I just have a case of Unbeliefen in my Gody...
So from today on when I start to catch myself preparing for the worse I will be turning that around to trusting and believing God can do the impossible.
This whole issue with trust is where I believe we should be like the little children they trust just about everything...
They believe the impossible I think for us as adults we have seen so much bad we just start to expect it and become comfortable in it.
One of my favorite stories of my Mum and her brother is one day my Mum was walking home and saw my uncle sitting in the bushes. when she asked him why he was sitting there he replied " well she just kept pushing me down and after awhile it just got comfortable so I stayed here." This is what we do we get so comfortable in our misery I know its easier for me to expect the worse than it would be for me to just wholly trust God has the ability to grow Phin a new kidney or heal Pierce in one fail swoop.
Trust and faith go hand and hand... Faith is trust in motion.
So whatever your situation is TRUST GOD, trust that He can make it better, trust that He knows what He is doing. Take that mustard seed of faith and go move a mountain because with GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!